Songs for Children to Sing

by Splen

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04:45
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01:47
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03:01

credits

released June 12, 2006

Stuart Finnie - Vocals, Guitar, Bass
Christopher Bowes - Vocals, Keyboards, Programming

Produced by Stuart's wonderful flatmate

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Splen Perth, UK

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Track Name: Walk in the Cat
Inside your head you have a mind
And inside your mind you have bones
And inside the bones you have a cat
And inside the cat you can walk

So we can walk in the cat
Walk in the cat
Walk in the cat
To find a new dimension

We met a man, he had a cat
We met him at the decathlon track
He let us travel through his cat
It had a portal in it's head

So we can walk in the cat
Walk in the cat
Walk in the cat
To find a new dimension

We travelled to a magic land
Where Wesley Snipes fondled a bridge
We met the man who had a cat
We wondered how the hell he was here
And he said

Inside your head you have a mind
And inside your mind you have bones
And inside the bones you have a cat
And inside the cat you can walk

So we can walk in the cat
Walk in the cat
Walk in the cat
To find a new dimension
Cat to find a new dimension
Track Name: We Love Coupar Angus
We love Coupar Angus
We love Coupar Angus

Coupar Angus can be a lovely town
But in the centre you may feel down
Cos the road system is confusing
And the air is awash with the stench of rotting poultry

But your interest will be sustained
By a petrol pump in Coupar Angus
Nothing ventured nothing gained
In Coupar Angus
Yeah, in Coupar Angus

All it takes is a par 3 golf course
To fall in love with Coupar Angus
All it takes is a well made ice cream
To fall in love with Coupar Angus

We love Coupar Angus
We love Coupar Angus

Look inside the bones in your mind
And there you will find
A cat

Coupar Angus is a magical place
But you'll never leave with a smile on your face
Cos the architecture is grey and bland
And the local dialect is hard to comprehend

But your interest will be sustained
By a petrol pump in Coupar Angus
Nothing ventured nothing gained
In Coupar Angus
Yeah, in Coupar Angus

All it takes is a par 3 golf course
To fall in love with Coupar Angus
All it takes is a well made ice cream
To fall in love with Coupar Angus

We love Coupar Angus
We love Coupar Angus

Pooper Scooper
Coupar Angus
TV Blooper
Coupar Angus
Starship Trooper
Coupar Angus
Super duper
Coupar Angus

We love Coupar Angus
We love Coupar Angus

All it takes is a par 3 golf course
To fall in love with Coupar Angus
All it takes is a well made ice cream
To fall in love with Coupar Angus

We love Coupar Angus
We love Coupar Angus
Track Name: The Legend of Richard Branson (Part I)
It was the year 3049
Richard Branson, hero of our time
Was born in outer space on a frozen meteor
In the middle of an intergalactic war

In his Virgin battleship he tore across the sky
Killing aliens, laughing as they died
But in a dream one night revealed a prophecy
He was the saviour of the entire galaxy

There is no hope for us up here in outer space
You must go back in time and save the human race

The year is 1950, Surrey, Great Britain
Home of the decathlon, the Magna Carta
And chalk

A flash of light and a carbon bang
If anyone can save the earth Branson can
To disguise his electronic chin
He cultivates a beard so he blends right in

Started selling records in Oxford Street
He bought some trains and an airline fleet
Built a studio in Tunbridge Wells
Mike Oldfield came along and made Tubular Bells

Richard Branson go go go
Richard Branson go go go
Richard Branson go go go
Richard Branson go go go
Track Name: Hmm, Cod
Hmm, cod
Hmm, cod
Eh?
Hmm, cod
Hmm, cod
What?
Track Name: Wood
In the forest it is very very cold

But I don't mind cos I am a tree
I am as happy as can be
I have branches and I have a leaf
I live in a forest near Cowdenbeath

I am over a hundred feet tall
I am the biggest tree of all
My leaves are green and my wood is brown
I hope that no-one's gonna chop me down

Wood and it comes from trees
Paper is made from wood
Pulped in a big machine
And it comes out green

Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!
Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!
Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!
Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!

In the forest it is very very cold

I really mind cos I'm not tree
I am a lumberjack and I'm called Steve
I have a passion for quality wood
I know what's bad and I know what's good
This is the biggest tree I've seen
It's wood is brown and it's leaves are green
I'd like to make it into furniture
I think that I'm gonna chop it down

Wood and it comes from trees
Paper is made from wood
Pulped in a big machine
And it comes out green

Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!
Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!
Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!
Wood Wood Wood Wood AAH!

I'm gonna chop you down
(Oh please don't chop me down)
I'm gonna make you into furniture
(I want to be a tree)
Well tough that cannot be
You'd look nice as a chair
(Oh please don't chop me down)

Hahaha, I'm gonna cut you down
I'm gonna chop all your branches off
Your wood is so quality and brown
I'm gonna chop you up
When I'm finished with you
People will be able to count your rings
AAH! Die tree, die!
You're gonna look great as furniture
I'm killing you
I'm chopping you down
Hahaha!

Wood and it comes from trees
Paper is made from wood
Pulped in a big machine
And it comes out green
Track Name: Vampire Killer
[Instrumental]
Track Name: Pop Idol The Musical
I am a talented young hopeful
Looking for a break in the music business
I have a craving for fame and fortune
A televised talent show seems just the thing

I filled out a form today
It says I have to audition
And nobody gets in my way

Just me and a song three judges and a camera
Singing along to a very high standard
Trying to make it through to the TV finals
Get a platinum album and I'll sell a million vinys

SIMON: "My name is Simon Cowell. I am a multi-millionaire music industry entrepreneur. I can make you or break you in this business. Your balls are mine!"

I am a talented young hopeful
Looking for a break in the music business
I've got an invite to the next audition
I'm gonna blow them all away with my rendition

I wait in a queue for years
While Ant & Dec have banter
An auditionee leaves in tears

But I don't care cos I know I'm much better
Take a deep breath I'm about to enter
Trying to impress with my vocal power
Now I'm face to face with Simon Cowell

SIMON: "Hello, what are you going to sing for us today?"
AUDITIONEE: "I'm going to sing 'I Believe I Can Fly' by R Kelly"
SIMON: "That's a good one, when you're ready!"

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can...

SIMON: "Stop! That was shit! It used to be one of my favourite songs. But not anymore..."

Not anymore
Not anymore
Not anymore

I am a talented young hopeful
Looking for a break in the music business
Simon Cowell thought I was shit
But Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh loved it

Now it's five months later
And I'm through to the TV finals
I've won the hearts of the British public
I'm sure to sell a million vinyls

Ant & Dec are by my side
The telephone votes have been counted
Now's the time to announce who wins
I cry for joy as my name is shouted

It's the final date of my sell-out tour
But there's nobody in the queue
Everybody stayed at home tonight
They're all watching Pop Idol series two

Now I'm alone and desperate
Nobody wants to buy my album
I've been dropped by my record label
Everybody's chasing the next big thing
I've had to sell my car
And pawn all my possessions
This life is not so far
From the one I had before the fame
Except now everyone knows my name
And laughs at me as I walk by

My singing was shit
I want to die
Track Name: TV George
Jimmy had an accident with my Meccano
Lennon and McCartney had a TV George
Foreman's on the telly with a grill he created
Never underestimate a TV George

George a George
A TV George
George a George
A TV George
Track Name: The Legend of Richard Branson (Part II)
It was the year 2028
The world was peaceful, everything was great
When suddenly it was attacked by aliens from space
Who can we call up on to save the human race?

When suddenly from out the fog a mystic man appeared
Richard Branson, with his mighty beard
He said to us "fear not my friends for I will save the day,
These aliens will be destroyed, I will make them pay!"

He ripped off his covering of artificial skin
To reveal the laser cannon hidden in his chin

Richard Branson
Saviour of us all
Richard Branson
He's handsome and he's tall
Richard Branson
He'll kill the evil spawn
Richard Branson
He's Jesus Christ reborn

From his secret hidden lair deep within the ground
Richard flew his battleship at the speed of sound
Lasers screamed across the sky the battle had begun
He swore he would not rest a day until the war was won

Richard Branson
Saviour of us all
Richard Branson
He's handsome and he's tall
Richard Branson
He'll kill the evil spawn
Richard Branson
He's Jesus Christ reborn
Track Name: The Rad Decathlon
This is the best decathlon I've ever been in
Cos nobody's here to win
It's the taking part that counts

And although I've been outclassed
In events such as the pole vault
I'm enjoying it none the less

And this is what I came for
The running is up next
And running is my favourite decathlon event

This is the best decathlon I've ever been in
Cos nobody's here to win
It's the taking part that counts

I'm running in the rad decathlon
Track Name: Stockmarket
I'm going to buy some shares
I'm going to sell some shares
I'm spending all my cash
I hope that I get rich

You can buy some oil
You can buy some gold
You can buy some oil
And some gold
You can buy some oil
You can buy some gold
You can have it all
Buying and selling on the stockmarket

Stockmarket

I'm at the stockmarket
I wear a silly suit
I'm shouting at a man
I hope that I get rich


You can buy some oil
You can buy some gold
You can buy some oil
And some gold
You can buy some oil
You can buy some gold
You can have it all
Buying and selling on the stockmarket

Stockmarket