I am a talented young hopeful
Looking for a break in the music business
I have a craving for fame and fortune
A televised talent show seems just the thing

I filled out a form today
It says I have to audition
And nobody gets in my way

Just me and a song three judges and a camera
Singing along to a very high standard
Trying to make it through to the TV finals
Get a platinum album and I'll sell a million vinys

SIMON: "My name is Simon Cowell. I am a multi-millionaire music industry entrepreneur. I can make you or break you in this business. Your balls are mine!"

I am a talented young hopeful
Looking for a break in the music business
I've got an invite to the next audition
I'm gonna blow them all away with my rendition

I wait in a queue for years
While Ant & Dec have banter
An auditionee leaves in tears

But I don't care cos I know I'm much better
Take a deep breath I'm about to enter
Trying to impress with my vocal power
Now I'm face to face with Simon Cowell

SIMON: "Hello, what are you going to sing for us today?"
AUDITIONEE: "I'm going to sing 'I Believe I Can Fly' by R Kelly"
SIMON: "That's a good one, when you're ready!"

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can...

SIMON: "Stop! That was shit! It used to be one of my favourite songs. But not anymore..."

Not anymore
Not anymore
Not anymore

I am a talented young hopeful
Looking for a break in the music business
Simon Cowell thought I was shit
But Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh loved it

Now it's five months later
And I'm through to the TV finals
I've won the hearts of the British public
I'm sure to sell a million vinyls

Ant & Dec are by my side
The telephone votes have been counted
Now's the time to announce who wins
I cry for joy as my name is shouted

It's the final date of my sell-out tour
But there's nobody in the queue
Everybody stayed at home tonight
They're all watching Pop Idol series two

Now I'm alone and desperate
Nobody wants to buy my album
I've been dropped by my record label
Everybody's chasing the next big thing
I've had to sell my car
And pawn all my possessions
This life is not so far
From the one I had before the fame
Except now everyone knows my name
And laughs at me as I walk by

My singing was shit
I want to die